Sunday, October 25, 2009

Hearse Looking at You, Kid!

In the last episode our search for Halloween Evil brought us to a macabre gathering of the strange denizens of Manitou Springs, Colorado, no doubt preparing for a lurid fire-lit ritualistic ceremony of naked dancing, blood sacrifices and cannibalism. The street has been cleared for the arrival of God knows what ranks and machinations of eldritch horror...

ACHTUNG! The Horrible Mohawk Halloween Regime has assumed control!

YOU THERE!-make an extreme jack-o-lantern that belches fire and smoke! YOU!-paint your little sister's face to look like a kitty cat! YOU!-think of strange new uses for candy corn! ZEIG HALLOW!

Need a ride, mortal? The kid in everyone loves hearses. Black hearses, white hearses, um, gray hearses... Big hearses, sm-.... Errr.... Hearses!

How about a hearse that will Monster Mash your ass if you you don't like the color pink?

This ambulance is nice but a little too pristine to be scary. Unless it's like a Christine ambulance, or something. Hey, wait a minute.... If I survive this I've got a great idea for a shameless rip-off book to write!

Woah! That Fascist babe is totally checking me out. She looks like Patty Hearse-t.

No, no. I've got to focus!

These people should have checked gramma's pulse before putting her on the roof. And that's good advice for anyone. Even-... Wait! Is that Zombie Tom Arnold?

Who ya gonna call? I'm gonna call that girl, I was just asking who you gonna call?

Hey you damn kids! Quit playing with the corpse! How's daddy supposed to make it in the hearsin' business if you keep messin' 'em up?

I guess what I'm trying to say is...hearses.

Especially this one.

Oh dear Lord! Now what?....

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